Cake 33, Nasty Cupcake Things

So my sister did some baking today, and I encouraged her to use up some of the 1kg bag of imitation m&ms I have. She made a chocolate cake mix, then stirred them in. They looked fine when they came out of the oven...

But it wasn't til we pulled the case off one that we realised how horrible they really are. I don't know what recipe she used, but I don't think this should be replicated.

(I had to make the picture giant, it's just so grotesque)

She also made some biscuits. I iced the green ones.

Cakes 31 and 32, The Blueberry Things

Well, it's been a while since I baked things.... and even longer since I blogged about them. Due to the excess punnets of fresh "gourmet" blueberries in the fridge (which nobody ate), I took it upon myself to make things with them. I made blueberry muffins and a blueberry streusel cake. I always forget how much of a difference it makes cooking with fresh blueberries - the batter doesn't end up a yucky concrete-grey, but stays golden and luscious with little dots of purpley-blue. Mmm...

Blueberry Muffins (from my mother's cookbook - probably originally Alison Holst... who puts Ido Drent to shame - she's the real Queen of Puddings. But anyway.)

Preheat the oven to 220C, the muffin temperature, and grease/pattycase-line a muffin tray.

In a large bowl, combine:
2 cups flour
4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup sugar

In another bowl, beat together:
100g melted butter
1 cup milk
1 egg

Combine the wet and dry, don't mix it too much, then stir in 1 - 1 1/2 cups blueberries.
Spoon into the waiting patty cases, and bake for 12-15 minutes.

(Cranberry and) Blueberry Streusel Cake (from my most awesome cookbook "Fruit")

Preheat the oven to 190C and grease/line a cake tin.
Cream 175g of soft butter and 1/2 cup sugar until smooth, then rub in 3 cups of plain flour with your fingertips until it resembles fine breadcrumbs. Set aside a generous 1 cup of this mixture.

Into the remaining floury muck, beat 2 large eggs, 1 tsp baking powder and 1 tsp vanilla essence "until soft and creamy". My mixture ended up more like a firm pastry... so i added a dash of milk to try and soften it up, but it didn't really help. I wonder if perhaps my eggs weren't big enough, or maybe I didn't take out enough of the the floury stuff... Anyhow, I'm not sure quite what went wrong, but perhaps more butter would have been a good idea (it always is).

Spoon/force this "creamy" mixture into the base of the tin and spread evenly. Arrange 1 cup each of cranberries (didn't have any) and blueberries on top, and sprinkle over 1/2 cup light muscovado sugar (I just used soft brown). Stir 1/2 tsp crushed cardamom seeds (not something I generally have on hand) into the reserved flour mixture, then scatter evenly on top of the fruit.

Bake for 50-60 minutes (I think I did it for a bit less, it was starting to burn on top by 40 mins) or until the topping is golden.

I really liked it, but it was way denser than I anticipated. It was more shortbread-y than cake-y. I don't think I've ever had streusel before, so maybe it's meant to be like that. This cake is most definitely best scoffed hot. As most things are :)

Cake 30, Not Cake, but Cookies

So it's been a while. I have made things, but I have also made the mistake of deleting everything on my camera not once, but twice.
Last night I made up two jokes because I couldn't sleep. They've probably been coined already (because they're a lot more normal than the vegetable jokes I went through a phase of making... that's another story), but I did come about them in my own way. 
What do you call an honest sausage? Frank
What do you call an honest sausage who likes to hit on the ladies? Frank flirter


Really quality way to spend my time. 


Anyway, I've made these biscuits a few times and only just found some photos (off the family Kodak - which is why they weren't deleted). 


Walnut and Chocolate Cookies (really very good)


100g butter
175g demerera (or soft brown) sugar
1 egg
a few drops of vanilla essence
175g sifted plain flour
1/4 tsp baking powder

100g coarsely chopped chocolate (I used some fancy 72% cocoa stuff as well as some milk chocolate, it was amazing)
25g chopped walnuts (or pecans, or both)


Preheat oven to about 190 C, and line a tray with baking paper.
Cream butter and demerera sugar, then beat in egg and vanilla essence. 
Add flour and baking powder. After this, stir in chocolate and walnuts (or pecans etc). 
Place heaped teaspoons onto baking paper and tray, bake for about 10-15 minutes, but keep an eye on them, I almost burn them everytime I make them. 

Cake 29, Saucy Pud, Very Mixed Very Cheap Getting Closer

Alison Holst's, once more. Maybe she's my hero?

Self-Saucing Chocolate Pudding

Lightly butter an ovenware dish, about 20cm across. Sift 1 1/2 cups self-raising flour (69 cents) and 2 Tb cocoa (36 cents) into the dish. Sprinkle with 1/2 cup sugar (19 cents), then add 1/2 cup milk (22.5 cents) and mix together (it's quite tough to mix, I've always wondered if it's meant to be more milk, but this is from a recipe book that's all about the budgeting...).
Spread fairly evenly over the base of the dish.
Mix together 1 Tb cocoa (18 cents) and 1/2 cup sugar (19 cents) in another bowl, then sprinkle evenly over the mixture in the dish. Pour 1 1/2 cups boiling water (don't know how much it costs to boil a jug...) gently over the surface, over the back of a spoon.

Bake for 35-45 minutes, or until the centre feels firm. Apparently this was 22cents per serve (serves 4) back in 1993.
After some careful maths, I've worked out how much it costs per serve (based on 4 servings per pud): 46 cents. That's very cheap. It seems Alison knows her stuff.
My prices are based on Homebrand products from the Foodtown website, so no special prices included.

Cake 28, Bagels?

The question mark is more about the bagel-as-cake thing than about the are-these-really-bagels thing.

Bagels (definitely) Cakes (maybe)

I used a breadmaker to mix the dough (I love anything that makes my life easier), so I just chucked everything in and set it to "dough".
3 tsp surebake (or equiv) yeast
1 1/4 cups warm water (blood temp is about perfect)
2 Tb honey
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 cup wholemeal flour
2 Tb gluten flour (not really needed, I've never used it in all my years of bagel-making)
2 cups high grade flour

Measure the first five ingredients into a large bowl and mix thoroughly. Cover and leave in a warm place (not hard at the moment...) and leave it for at least 15 mins. Stir in the other flour(s) to form a dough. Knead for 10 mins, then leave to rise for 30 mins in a covered oiled bowl, again in a warm spot.

Knock back the dough (aka briefly knead it to release any air bubbles) and cut into 8 or so equal pieces. Form into bagel shapes, and allow to rise for 10-15 mins. Meanwhile, turn the oven to 220C, and bring a pot of water to the boil (with about 5-10cm water). Lower the bagels in using a slotted spoon, in batches of 2 or 3, and cook for 30-45 seconds on each side. Drain on paper towels (at this point I recommend prodding them, they have such a strange texture) and arrange on a well-oiled baking tray (mine stuck anyway). Brush with egg or milk, and sprinkle with poppy or sesame seeds. If you used oil instead, then these would be vegan (if they were for a vegan who ate honey).

Bake for 10-15 minutes until browned on the top and bottom.

I had mine with cream cheese and pastrami, and it was good.

Cake 27, Rhubarb Upside-Down Cake

This is another recipe from "500 Cakes" (thanks Emma :D)

Rhubarb Upside-Down Cake

230g fresh rhubarb, cut into about 5mm thick pieces (I used 3 massive stalks from the plant in the garden - they weren't pink, but the cake still turned out fine)
3 Tb caster sugar
80g butter, at room temp
240g caster sugar (I only used about 2/3 of this amount, it seemed excessive...)
2 eggs
3 Tb ground almonds (I used this, then the rest of the 70g packet instead of some of the flour)
110g self-raising flour

Preheat oven to 180C and line a 20cm tin.
Toss the rhubarb in the first measure of sugar so that it's coated thoroughly. Arrange in the base of the tin.
Beat butter and sugar together, then beat in eggs one at a time. Stir in the almonds, then fold in the flour.
Spoon this onto the rhubarb, and spread evenly.
Bake for about 40 minutes until risen and golden.
Cool in tin for about 5mins, then cool on a wire rack.

Cake 26, All Aboard The Sago Train

So I used the train-shaped silicone mold I got for chrimbus... I think this is the strangest thing I've ever made.

Sago Pudding-Cakes Train

I was inspired by a recipe I found on a food blog by a Singaporean teacher living in Mauritius. Very nice, very strange. I love sago.

250g sago/tapioca pearls (I used really small ones, but big ones would be awesome)
water for soaking
3 cups water
1 cup-ish sugar
1/2 can sweetened condensed milk
1 can coconut cream (or water, or milk)
whole cloves and cinnamon quills, if you like
dessicated coconut

Soak the sago in water for 2 hours (I actually couldn't be bothered waiting, and since I was using very little pearls I figured they wouldn't take long to cook). Drain well.
Bring water and sugar to the boil in a large saucepan. In a separate bowl, combine coconut cream (if your're using it) and sweetened condensed milk. Pour this into the water/sugar pot once it begins to boil.
Pop the sago and whole spices in, and stir constantly and evenly until the sago becomes translucent, soft, and very sticky.
Pour the mix into silicone molds, or any kind of mold really. Silicone is great because the sago doesn't stick :) You could use a square pan, then slice the sago later. Allow to cool before transferring to the fridge. They're ready once they are solid (maybe 2 hours?). Remove from molds and roll the 'cakes' in dessicated coconut.

I tried to make tracks out of golden syrup...

Cake 25, The Cake I Only Kinda Made (Fruit)

Cake Team Effort, meaning somebody else made most of it.

Easy-mix Fruit and Rum Cake

another Alison Holst classic from my mother's collection

1 kg small dark raisins (I used a combination of raisins, currants, cranberries, prunes and glace cherries)

1/2 cup liquid (cranberry juice for me, no brandy at hand)

200g butter

2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 cup golden syrup

1/2 cup milk

2 large eggs

Soak the fruit in the liquid for 24-48 hours, until all the liquid has been soaked up. Alison recommends putting the liquid and fruit into a snaplock bag so none of the alcoholic goodness can evaporate. 

Rub the butter into the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt using a food processor or your digits. 

Warm syrup and milk just enough to combine them, beat in the eggs, then mix this liquid into the fruit and dry mixture. Pour into a lined 20cm square tin.

Decorate the top with almonds and cherries etc. 

Bake at 150C for 2 1/4 - 2 1/2 hours, until a skewer comes out clean. 

My camera batteries died right after taking the first photo. Bonus: evidence of how the cockroach was eventually killed.

Cake 24? Worst Photos of Best Waffles feat. Giant Roach and Little Sister

"Best Waffles Ever Recipe"

Combine: 1 3/4 cups flour, 2 tsp baking powder, 1 Tb sugar and 1/2 tsp salt.
In another bowl, beat 3 egg yolks and 1 3/4 cups milk.
Combine wet and dry, then beat in 1/2 cup vege oil.
Lastly, stiff peak-erise 3 egg whites, then fold these into the batter. Don't over-mix.
Do regular waffle-thing. They cook quickly, and are AMAZINGLY crispy/fluffy.

Then our friend Giant Roach wanted in on the action, so we swept him off the ceiling and trapped him under a bowl. I love the bonding me and Cush get up to, it always seems to involve baking or killing vermin. <3
(Is it strange that I felt the need to follow that sentence up with a heart?)
Oh, and sorry for the terrible pics, my camera is in a box somewhere, so I had to use the piece of shit Kodak thing my family own. It's very holiday-snaps.
And, um, I think I'm going to jump back on the baking bandwagon after my long summer break. Here's to resolutions :-)

I noticed how happy the cheese grater was at the prospect of waffle-quaffing.

Cake 23, Cupcakes from a Box

I followed instructions, and added sprinkles. Very sweet, very mixed, getting closer.

Cake 22, Lazy Scones with Condiments

This is my lazy scone/cake attempt. They turned out okay, nice and fluffy.

Lazy Scones

250ml cream (use a 500ml bottle)
355ml (1 can) lemonade
4 tsp baking powder
4 - 4 1/2 cups flour

Preheat oven to 220 C
Combine, roll out on a floured surface, cut into circles with a glass.
Bake for 12-15 mins.

Whip the remaining cream, and slather on scones with jam.

Cake 21, Mini Chrimbus Cakes

It's a Chrimbus miracle!

I made mini cakes, and pressed glace cherries and almonds into the tops.

Chrimbus Cake

400g sultanas (I replaced these with a combination of dates and prunes)

400g raisins

200g currants

grated lemon rind

2 tsp vanilla

1 cup orange juice or brandy (I used up my stout)

250g butter

1 1/2 cups brown sugar

4 eggs

1 cup mashed banana

2 1/2 cups flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp mixed spice

Combine the fruit, lemon rind, vanilla and juice/booze in a bowl and leave to soak overnight.

The next day, (preheat oven to 150C) cream the butter and sugar, and then beat in eggs one by one. Add the banana, flour, baking powder and spice and mix thoroughly. Finally stir in the fruit and liquid until the bits and pieces are evenly coated. Line a large cake tin (or many many muffin tins) and spoon in the mix. Bake at 150 for 1hour, and then reduce the heat to 140 for another 1 1/2 hours (or even another 2 if you have a slow oven). Allow to cool in the tin. 

This is the best plate I've ever found on the side of the road.

Cake 20, Goopy Salted Caramel Cheesecakes

This is something I've been meaning to make for quite a while now.... and I'm so glad I did. I love salted caramel. I would happily make bowls of it just fer eatin'. Only problem, the cheesecake didn't turn out that great. It tasted very... sour creamy, and it didn't set either. Hence the goopy. It was more like caramel-topped sour custard. Nice though. I recommend making the caramel sauce, it's really super.


Salted Caramel Cheesecakes
cool(heat(caramel(heat(custard))))

225g cream cheese (spreadable is best)
1/2 cup sugar
3 eggs, room temp
1/2 cup sour cream
6 Tb corn syrup (see recipe at the end if you want imitation corn syrup)
1/2 cup and 2 Tb sugar
3 Tb butter
1/2 cup cream
salt to taste (about 1/4 - 1/2 tsp)

Preheat the oven to 165 C.
Beat the cream cheese and sugar together, then beat in the eggs, one at a time, and lastly the sour cream. Beat until smooth. Divvy the mix into 6 ramekins/tea cups (1/2 cup of mix each), and place these in a large oven-proof dish. Pour hot water into the dish until it reaches halfway up the sides of the ramekins. Bake for 10mins, then turn  the heat off and leave the cheesecakes in the oven for 1 hour (I left mine a bit longer, they didn't seem very set). Transfer to a wire rack, and allow to cool.
Meanwhile...
In a pan, heat the corn syrup on a low heat for a few minutes or until fully liquid. Increase the heat to medium and add the sugar (I also added a few Tb of water). Leave for about 5 minutes until it's a dark amber colour. Turn the element off, and stir in the butter. Add the cream in a thin stream, mixing constantly. Transfer to a bowl and stir in the salt. Allow to cool, then spoon about 2 Tb onto each cheesecake. Transfer to the fridge and allow to set for at least 3 hours. I have lots of the caramel left over, but it'll make a great icecream sauce :)

Corn Syrup (I made half this recipe and ended up with at least 4 times too much)
Combine 2 cups sugar, 3/4 cup water, 1/4 tsp cream of tarter and a pinch of salt in a heavy pan. Bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and cover for about 3 minutes (less if you halve it). Uncover, and cook until it reaches the soft ball stage. Apparently this goop will last for 2 months, stored in an airtight container at room temp. Mine solidified almost straight away, and now I have a jar half-full of solid sugar...

Cake 19, Lemon Meringue Pie (but I've reassigned it to the cake family)

So while searching for a taxonomy of cake, I found an amazing blog. It blew my mind. A Sketch Towards a Taxonomy of Meta-Desserts has given me a whole new way of describing desserts:
lemon meringue pie = heat(egg white(heat(pastry(custard(fruit))))) where custard refers to the egg yolk mixture and fruit to the lemon. This is a two-function dessert involving four dessertoms.

Anyway, here's the recipe I actually followed. I got an awesome pastry tip from Henry - use a ratio of 3:2:1:1 for  flour, butter, icing sugar and egg respectively. However, since I only had 100g butter, I decided the whole egg made the pastry too liquid so I had to add extra flour and sugar...and then I baked it blind and only had teaspoons to weigh it down, so the whole base puffed up :-(

heat(egg white(heat(pastry(custard(fruit)))))

Pastry:
100g butter (easier if it's room temp, or chilled and then grated)
150g flour (1 cup, although I added more later)
50g icing sugar (just under 1/2 cup)
1 egg

Cut the butter into the sifted flour and icing sugar until it resembles breadcrumbs, then add the beaten egg (I added a whole lot more flour and sugar, but then wondered if I got the ratio thing wrong? Maybe my egg was just a big 'un). Mix until you have a soft doughy mess. It should be all over your hands by now. Roll into a ball, wrap in gladwrap and chill for about 20mins or so. Grease a pie tin/cake tin and dust with flour. Remove the pastry from the freezer, flour a sheet of baking paper, and roll the pastry out until it's the right size for your pie tin. Roll the pastry around the rolling pin, almost like rolling sushi (use the baking paper like a sushi mat), and then un-roll the pastry over the tin. Trim the edges, and leave to chill in the fridge. Or you could just ignore the recipe and bake the pastry (with baking paper and spoons to weigh it down) like I did. I guess it does stop the pastry from becoming soggy when you add the filling. Anyway, while you bake the case (for 15 mins at 180 or something) or chill it, make the filling.

Filling:
Combine the following and mix lightly:
3 large egg yolks
2 Tb caster sugar
grated rind and juice of 1 lemon
1/2 cup fresh white breadcrumbs
1 cup milk
Leave to soak for 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 200 C. Beat filling until smooth and pour into the chilled (or woefully cooked) pastry case. Bake for 20 mins or until the filling has just set and the pastry is golden. Remove from oven and cool on a rack for 30 mins. Lower oven temp to 180 C, and make the topping.

Topping:
Whisk 3 large egg whites until they form stiff peaks, and then gradually whisk in 1/2 cup caster sugar until glossy. Spoon on top of the filling. You could make it all swirly if you like. Try to make sure the meringue is spread right to the rim of the pastry case. Bake for 20-25 mins or until crisp. Cool for 10 mins before serving.

Mmmmm despite my worries about the pastry, this turned out a treat. It leaked a whole lot of liquid, though, which I suspect was the lemon juice sneaking it's way out. I would like to make it more lemony, but I'm not sure how to do that without compromising the consistency...

Cake 18, Christmas Cupcakes

It's been too hot to bake lately, but Lauren did make these amazing cupcakes the other day. The lurid icing ended up pooling in the middle of each cupcake...

Christmas Cupcakes

Preheat oven to 190C and line a muffin tin with patty cases.
Cream 125g butter with 1tsp vanilla and 1/2 cup caster sugar.
Add 2 eggs, one at a time.
Fold in 1 cup of flour and 2tsp baking powder, then stir in 1/4 cup milk.
Spoon mixture into lined muffin tin, and bake for 15minutes.
Allow to cool, then ice with wildly-coloured icing.

Cake 17, Baked Pasta Bake Cake

Since we had masses of leftover pasta from last night, I decided it'd be fun to make it into a cake, and it worked really well. I wish I'd made twice as much.

Baked Pasta Bake Cake

1/2 onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, diced
oil
10 mushrooms (button)
1/2 capsicum
1 can sweetcorn
leftover pasta and sauce
4 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1 cup grated cheese
salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 180 C. Heat oil in a pan, and fry onion and garlic. Add mushrooms and capsicum, and cook until softened. Add corn, and continue to cook for a few minutes. Take off heat and mix through pasta (ours had a tomatoey/curry sauce already on it). Put into a greased cake tin.
In a bowl, combine eggs and milk. Season, and pour over the mix in the cake tin. Sprinkle cheese on top, and bake for about half an hour or until browned on top and hot the whole way through. Allow to cool in the tin, then slice.

Cake 16, Chocolate Muffcakes

So Lauren made chocolate muffcakes (being a portmanteau word, rather than small cakes that look rude), and they were pretty delish. I'm going to pinch her baking for my blog :) She used a recipe my mum gave me, which is probably from Alison Holst. I think mum owns Alison's entire ouvre of cooking books.

12 Big Fat Chocolate Muffins
(something tells me mum calls them this, it's not a very Alison Holst title...)

Preheat oven to 180 C. Mix together:
100g melted butter
1 1/2 cups milk
1 egg
Add:
2 1/2 cups self-raising flour (Lauren used half wholemeal)
1/4 cup cocoa
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup chocolate chips

Spoon into lined/greased tin, and bake for 10-15 minutes.
Lauren was going to ice these, but decided they'd be disgusting with icing on them, and it's true. They would be.

The muffcakes were strangely porous....

Cake 15, Brandy-Sozzled Xmas Pudding

So I've made my Christmas pudding :) It's currently resting in the fridge, waiting for the next brandy dousing. I think I found this recipe in a foodie magazine, it makes quite a nice pud (I used this one last year). I decided to let the fruit soak in stout and brandy overnight, which will definitely enhance the flavour.

Christmas Pudding

Combine in a large bowl:
210g chopped nuts
2 cups fresh white breadcrumbs
1 1/2 cups mixed dried cherries/fruit (I used a mix of currants, sultanas and raisins)
3/4 cup grated carrot
3/4 cup muscovado sugar
1/2 cup chopped prunes
1/2 cup chopped figs (figs were too expensive, so I used dates)
1/2 cup flour
125g chilled, grated butter

Beat together the following in a separate bowl:
1/2 cup guinness (I used a mix of Cooper's Stout and brandy, and actually soaked the fruit in it overnight. It's not really necessary, but I want a boozy pudding)
4 eggs
1 Tb golden syrup
grated rind of a lemon and an orange

Combine the two mixtures, and add:
1 tsp mixed spice
1/2 tsp ginger

Grease and line the base of a pudding basin, and fill with the mix. Cover with two layers of baking paper and one of tinfoil, and tie a piece of string around the rim. If you can, tie another piece across the top so you have a handle for lifting it out of the pot.
Place a large pot on the stove, and fold up an old tea towel and place it in the bottom. Place the basin so it sits on top of the tea towel (this stops the bottom of the pudding from overcooking - you could use an upturned saucer instead). Fill the pot with boiling water until it is filled just below the rim of the basin. Cover, turn the heat to low, and boil for 3 hours.

To store, remove from the water and allow to cool. Keep it in the fridge, or in a cool dry cupboard. If you like, you can open the covering and pour brandy on the pudding every now and then :)
To reheat, do the same boiling thing for another three hours. Turn onto a plate, and serve hot with brandy butter and/or cream  and/or custard.

And now I leave it in the fridge for a week, and pour brandy over it every day.... I wish someone would do that to me :(